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A female's monogram is typically done in FIRST/LAST/MIDDLE (or MAIDEN) order with the centered initial larger than those on the side.
Sarah Claire Doe = s D c
Monograms for a gentlemen are traditionally in FIRST/MIDDLE/LAST order with the letters the same size.
A gentleman may prefer the FIRST/LAST/MIDDLE order (as shown for female), but this is usually reserved for male babies and children.
A more modern approach to a gentleman's monogram is to stack the FIRST and MIDDLE initial with the LAST NAME initial larger and to the right
When Sarah and Michael get married, their couple's monogram is done with her initial first, their surname initial larger and centered, with his first initial on the right.
In certain instances, couples prefer to have the gentleman's initial first with hers on the right. That is perfectly fine depending on preferences and should the letters look better with that arrangement.
First initials for a couple may appear as S+M, S|M and other variations
When choosing a single letter monogram, typically the last name initial is used.
BABIES + CHILDREN:
For babies, traditional rules apply, but many times, the first name only is used for personalization. The first letter of the name may or may not be capitalized.